Third world t-shirts

Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Sylvester Stalone may have fallen from glory in the U.S., but in Guatemala they´ve never been cooler. Saturday is market day in Todos Santos, when the small town is flooded with thousands of vendors and buyers and women with children strapped on their backs. Half the make-shift stalls sell fruits and vegetables, the other half sell extra-large shirts depicted epic classics such as Arnold Schwarzenegger´s "Predator" and Chuck Norris´ famous hit-series "Walker; Texas Ranger". Che Guevara t-shirts, with a photo of Latin America´s symbol of revolution and socialism, are apparently clumped under the same rubric of "action heros", and are as such displayed on the same clothes rack.

These cultural gems, combined with an odd assortment of second-hand clothes from the U.S., makes market day Todos Santos an interesting time to just relax and check out the apparrel.

I´ve seen all sorts of stuff. A month ago, I walked past a guy wearing a "Utah´s Hogle Zoo" baseball cap. Last week, a construction worker next door showed up wearing a T-shirt that read "BEAT THE HELL OUT OF PENN STATE." And Maximone, perhaps the oldest living man in Todos Santos, and a name you will hear again, showed up at the school a few days ago wearing a Beanie hat with the gangster slogan "Dirty South" printed on the front in grafitti font. Even funnier than what these artifacts say is that the people who wear them have no understanding of their significance. They just like the style, or they saw their friend with one, or someone gave it to them. America sells down here.

Last Saturday, I was in the market looking for a Chuck Norris shirt in my size (A more challenging task than you might imagine, as these small Mayans love wearing huge shirts), when I came across what was the most shocking article of clothing I´ve encountered in my travels: A t-shirt with pictures of Che Guevara and Osama Bin Laden displayed side by side.

What the hell does this mean? What is the maker trying to say? Are people buying this? I, at any rate, knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and immediately pulled out the 20 Quetzales (about $2.50) for the purchase and took the shirt home with me.

I´ve worn the shirt a few times, but I´m always afraid I´m going to meet an American who knew someone who died in 9-11. I´ve had a few tourists ask me about it: "Whats up with that shirt?", they ask. I have to tell them I have no idea, I just found in in the market.

Earlier this week, I had to make a border run to Mexico to get a new Guatemalan visa, which expires every 90 days. I spent a couple days in the Comitan, a gorgeous colonial town near the border, just eating good food and enjoying the luxuries the second-world enjoys over the third. Sitting in the central plaza, I looked up from my book to see a young guy walk by wearing a "U.S.A" shirt, only the "S" was a swastika. He looked like a nice guy, smiling, enjoying the afternoon with his young wife and newborn baby. I just stared. Did he understand the significance of the swastika, or did he just like the design?

That afternoon I headed to the bank to get some money from the ATM. Standing in line, I noticed the family infront of me waiting to withdraw money; the youngest kid in the family was wearing a Che Guevara/Osama shirt identical to mine. I waited till they were done using the ATM, gathered my courage, and approached them, asking in my broken spanish: "Excuse me. I have this exact shirt (pointing to the boy), and I am confused. What does it mean?". The mother answered in English, an embarrassed smile on her lips: "It means they are alike. They are fighting for the same thing."